The honest ones

What if what I am doing is not good?
Who cares?
Who cares that you are in a dilemma?
What if I never learn to be myself?
Do not go out into the world if you are not yourself. You will mess everything up.
Understand what it really means to be one's self.
And do not start comparing yourself with anyone, especially not with your friends.

Do not compare.
There is no sense in comparing. Just be.

What a pity that they think that you are like someone else. You are not, but you did not tell.
So,
how could they know.
Becoming an artist.
Doing things differently in the same old space,
earth,
box.

Unfortunately I discovered these days that nothing really matters,
apart from dissolving the fear.
Others are confident.
Here you are! Comparing.
Nothing matters‚ was supposed to be
a liberating thought, I thought.
It is not, is it?
There must be a difference between nothing matters‚ and being in the now.

Hopefully your friends accept and support
damage limitation.
With honesty comes damage, it seems,
if you are a friend.
Or success if you are a clever artist,
because you do not have to be honest to be honest. Just quicker.
What are friends good for?
(And artists?)
Honesty.
Honesty?
Where does honesty start and where does it end. Honesty is vast, unless you believe
that truth is a point,
which it is.
Nothing and, of course, everything.
But we live in this world and, sadly,
we still have to communicate
not knowing that everything is already said.

We have the choice:
Common-sense-honesty.
Nothing-does-matter-honesty.
Friendship-honesty.
Artist-honesty.
German-culture-honesty.
Foreign-culture-honesty.
Do not you think that there is no difference.

Well, it all comes down to a unique need or wish, or no-need, or no-wish to be honest in the very self, in which being honest is worshipped and feared, or silent and therefore loud.
Friends meet to grow from each other's honesty or their inability to be honest, that makes them stop being friends at some point (truth).
I am not sure really,
if the understanding friend is the friend,
or the one who stirs the pain.
Unfortunately I cannot go back either.
If your brain has melted
it will never be the same again.

But,
nothing matters‚
and
there is no time‚
leave me with the question of how to take the artist and the friend seriously.

It is because we are here right now, are we not? Somehow there is the earth, and the friend,
and the artist's purpose.
The artist's purpose possibly being an example of translating energy,
being the forerunner of transforming negativity
and fear into active and positive life force
(just like everyone else).
If you are the friend of an artist, for example,
love him or her
for what he or she is
right now,
because if the artist and friend is not him or
herself,
he or she will mess everything up
(which does not really matter).

Silke Mansholt, Brighton, 25.03.2002


kontakt: silkemansholt@yahoo.co.uk


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